The Warehouse Circumvention
by Daedaleopsis
Summary: A mysterious artifact shows up at a critical juncture in Sheldon's life. Can Myka, Pete and Claudia save the day?
1. Chapter 1

Leonard paced nervously in the cramped confines of the tent. Raj was actually praying in Hindi, something he hadn't done since he was a small child. Tears streaked his face as he murmured the familiar phrases. Howard was at the short wave radio, twisting the dials while cursing the "crazy bastard" under his breath.

"What was he thinking?" Howard finally cried hysterically. "Is he gonna kill himself just so we'll feel guilty for the rest of our lives?"

"He wouldn't do that—kill himself, I mean. But if he could find a way to make us suffer for the can opener for the rest of our lives, I'm sure he would," Leonard muttered darkly.

"Dude, he would have every right to come back and haunt us forever if he dies out there," Raj cried, interrupting his prayers. "I told you that can opener trick was going too far. You know nothing means more to Sheldon than his research, and you just screwed up the opportunity of a lifetime for him."

"Oh, come _on_ ," Leonard whined. "I'm sure he'll get plenty of other grants, and he still has two weeks worth of... of original data. Besides, Howard was gonna shoot him with a crossbow," he cried, whirling around to point an accusatory finger at the engineer.

Howard gave up on the radio and leapt to his feet. "Just because I talked about it didn't mean I was actually gonna do it! Sure, we all laughed behind Sheldon's back when he mistook electrical interference for proof of string theory... at least for a little while. But we strung him along for almost two months. Raj and I were gonna tell him like a million times." He hung his head. "He can't survive out in those sub-zero temperatures for much longer. If he dies out there, we'll have killed him. His death will be on our hands. And then what the hell are we going to tell President Seibert or the NSA?" He sank down into a camp chair and stared wild-eyed at Leonard. "What the frak are we going to tell Penny?"

Leonard looked like he was going to be sick, but he managed to reply, "If it comes to that, we'll just say he went for a walk and got lost. Nobody's going to say anything about data tampering, right? _Right_?"

Howard and Raj just looked away, both of them either refusing or unable to look him in the eye after what he'd said. Minutes ticked by in an agonized silence, broken only by the squeals and bursts of static from Howard's radio. Finally, Raj got up and walked over to Howard. "Turn it off," he said in a low voice.

"What? But I—"

"It's no use! He didn't take any damn walkie-talkie with him!" Raj yelled suddenly. "He's been gone for over an hour. We were told we could last fifteen minutes, max, outside without full protective gear. There's no way he could..." Raj choked up and sank to the floor, hands over his face.

Howard let out a long, shuddering breath and looked at Leonard, who was staring at the orange fabric wall of the tent. "We've got to call it in," he said finally. "Maybe if they can mount a search party—"

"No!" Leonard yelled. He cleared his throat. "I mean no, that's not necessary. Come on, guys, this is Sheldon. He may be crazy, but he's also a genius. I'm sure he's already figured out a dozen ways to keep warm and is just sitting out there laughing at us. Any minute now, he'll walk through that tent flap and say bazinga."

Raj lifted his head from his hands long enough to stare at Leonard. His expression was a mixture of pity and disgust.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to give it another hour or two," Howard agreed uneasily. A glance at Raj assured him that they shared the same suspicion. Leonard was delusional. Sheldon had been devastated when he found out about their prank—no, more than that, he'd been heartbroken by their betrayal. It was amazing that he'd had the presence of mind to grab his down parka before storming out. This was not a trick, a prank or a bazinga.

A second hour ticked by, and then another. Howard and Raj held a few whispered conversations, but decided to give Leonard the extra time he needed for reality to sink in. At the three hour mark, Howard stood up. "I'm calling it in," he announced, turning the dial on his radio to the emergency channel. "Any longer than that, and it's gonna look suspicious," he added pointedly.

Just then, there was a noise near the opening of the tent, and three heads turned simultaneously. The flap was unzipped from the outside, and a tall figure entered, covered in frost and small icicles. Raj almost screamed, and Leonard's knees almost gave way as he saw his friend. _Everything's fine. I knew I was right!_ he thought to himself.

"Hey, buddy, you had us all going there for a while," Leonard said in a mock-cheerful tone.

"How... how is he still alive?" Howard asked to no one in particular.

Sheldon ignored them all and retreated to the tiny alcove he had claimed as his space, not bothering to take off his coat or gloves.

Leonard watched him, worry etched into the lines of his face. After a moment, he approached Sheldon's "room" (no one was allowed in it but Sheldon) and called, "Are you okay, buddy?"

"Leave me alone," was the terse, muffled reply. Leonard turned back to his two friends and shrugged. After another whispered conference, they decided to let him be until he had gotten over his sulk. By the next morning, however, the situation had not improved. Sheldon got up, ate breakfast, and retreated back to his room without a word to anyone. The strangest thing was that he appeared to be cradling a whitish globe, a little larger than a grapefruit. The three scientists were naturally curious, but Sheldon still refused to speak to them and sheltered the sphere from their view. When Leonard tried to question him, he snarled at them with such uncharacteristic menace that they backed off. Eventually, they agreed to continue recording data for Sheldon's experiment and ignore his strange behavior. There was little else they could do. They were only days away from returning to California, and they hoped that by then, Sheldon would have forgiven them.

On the trip back home, they anticipated that the mystery of the sphere would be solved when they had to go through customs. At first, Sheldon adamantly refused to let go of the orb, which resembled nothing so much as a large ball of ice. Howard commented that whatever it was, Sheldon was guarding it as if he was Gollum and it was the One Ring. Eventually, Sheldon was persuaded to surrender the orb briefly, to a security guard who would have given Penny's old boyfriend Kurt a run for his money in the muscles department. Sheldon hovered possessively over the sphere as it went through the scanner. The guard shrugged as he handed it back. "I don't see what the big deal is; it's just a rock," he commented.

On the flight home, Leonard, Raj and Howard discussed the possibility that Sheldon may have become slightly unhinged by their sabotage. They all knew that at one point, even his mother thought he was insane. Maybe it was time for Sheldon to get re-tested. After almost twelve hours of travel (which included one layover, waiting for their baggage and a taxi ride), they arrived back at 2311 North Robles. Penny heard the commotion as they wearily dragged their luggage up the last flight of stairs.

"Leonard!" she cried. "Oh, I missed you guys so much!" She hugged Leonard and then looked at him with a tender smile and leaned toward him. He felt so excited he could hardly breathe and frantically hoped that he would be able to kiss the girl of his dreams before going into respiratory shock and passing out. Her face was just inches from his when her eyes darted to a point past his shoulder. He barely suppressed a groan as she recoiled in shock and said, "Wait. What's wrong with Sheldon?"

Like a bad accident, he found himself looking over at his roommate, however much he didn't want to. Sheldon, body hunched protectively over his stupid oversized marble, disappeared into the apartment just as a panting Raj and Howard collapsed onto the fourth floor landing, laden with bags like pack mules.

Leonard began to stammer and sweat while Penny watched him, eyes narrowing in suspicion. He finally choked out his version of the story: They _had_ to screw up his experiment; she knew what Sheldon was like. It was either that or they were going to kill him. Can you imagine spending three months trapped inside a tent with all his craziness?

"I don't believe you did that," Penny hissed furiously. "How could you? I thought you were his friend. And you, of all people, should be used to living with him." She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm going to go talk to him, and then you, mister, are going to apologize. That goes for the two of you too," she added in a louder voice to Raj and Howard, who were still lying on the floor in a pile of bags and suitcases.

"But... but..." Leonard stammered. He held out a necklace, with its pendant of a snowflake preserved in cyanoacrylate, to empty air as Penny stormed off and his dreams of a romantic reunion went up in smoke.

Inside apartment 4A, Penny went to Sheldon's bedroom. She knocked on his door and asked for permission to enter. There was no response, so she pushed open the door and walked in to find Sheldon curled in a ball on his bed. He seemed to be hugging some large, whitish rock. Since this was far from the weirdest thing Penny had ever seen Sheldon do, she didn't pay it much attention.

"Hey, sweetie," she said softly.

"Penny? What are you doing in my room?" Sheldon said mournfully. "People can't be in—"

"Your room. I know," Penny said, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Look, I heard about what happened with your experiment. Do you wanna talk about it?"

As she spoke, she reached for his hand. Her fingers accidentally brushed the pale-colored sphere, and there was a brilliant flash of light. Sheldon later claimed that it seemed like the light was somehow directed at Penny. There was a howling noise like a winter gale, and Sheldon heard a sonorous voice speaking in a guttural language that he didn't recognize. Sheldon put up an arm to shield his eyes as he looked at her, because she was suddenly glowing. A soft white light seemed to emanate from her as she stood motionless. In seconds, the light was so bright that Sheldon couldn't look directly at her. Without warning, a concussive blast of energy exploded outward with Penny as the epicenter. Sheldon had risen to a sitting position, and the force of the blast knocked him off the bed. He struck his head on the corner of his night stand, and everything went black.

He must've been out for less than a minute. When he came to, the first thing he saw was Penny floating limply in the air like a discarded marionette. The wind and voice had ceased. Just then, Leonard, Howard and Raj burst into his room (for once, he didn't even think about giving them a strike) and came to an abrupt halt when they saw Penny.

They stared, speechless for a moment, and then Leonard rounded on Sheldon.

"What did you do to her?" Leonard yelled in a panicky voice.

Sheldon winced and put a hand to his head, feeling something warm and wet. "I didn't do anything. She touched it," he said plaintively.

Howard was clearly in shock to let that obvious double entendre go by without comment. While Sheldon woozily looked around for the orb, Leonard reached out a hand to Penny. The resulting shock wave wasn't nearly as strong as the initial one, but it still knocked them all off their feet. Sheldon had managed to not knock his head on a hard surface this time. As he clambered to his feet, pressing a clean handkerchief to his forehead to stanch the blood, he snarled at his roommate, "I would strongly advise you not to attempt such a foolhardy action again."

Leonard nodded sheepishly.

"But we have to do something!" Raj cried.

"Yeah, whatever this is, it can't be good," muttered Howard.

"Gentlemen—and I use that term _very_ loosely—we must first determine the nature of this object and the effect it has over Penny," Sheldon said gravely, holding out the sphere, which he had located under the bed.

"It's nothing but a rock. The security guard said so when he scanned it at the airport," Howard pointed out.

"Maybe we should start by asking Sheldon where he got it and why he's been acting so weird about it," Leonard said with a bellicose glare at his roommate.

Before Sheldon could respond, there was a loud knocking on their front door. Raj reached the door first and pulled it open, only to squeak in dismay as he saw a woman in a business suit standing there, holding out a shiny gold badge.


	2. Chapter 2

Myka knocked on the apartment door. She never knew what to expect on a mission, but this one looked like it would be pretty easy. Claudia had invented a new device which detected subtle fluctuations in the electromagnetic field. They all hoped it would help them locate rogue artifacts more quickly, and with fewer fatalities.

A rather cute young man wearing a hideous sweater vest answered the door.

"Hi, I'm Agent Myka Bering, and this is my partner, Agent Pete Lattimer," Myka said briskly. "We're with the FBI, and we need to ask you a few questions."

Raj cast a mute, pleading look at his friends. Sheldon looked at them quizzically, head cocked to the side like a bird. Howard turned ashen, and Leonard said quickly, "We didn't do anything."

Pete, a tall man with an athletic build and spiky dark hair, raised an eyebrow as he looked around at the nervous scientists. "Yup, I'm definitely getting a vibe offa those three," he commented, wagging a pointing finger at the men.

Myka rolled her eyes and shouldered past him into the apartment. "Please excuse him; he has no idea what it means to follow standard procedure," she said sardonically.

"Hey, nobody knows what most of those big words of yours mean," Pete joked.

A slender young woman, her punk rocker clothes in sharp contrast to the agents' professional suits, poked her head into the apartment. Her short red hair was streaked with purple.

"Science geeks—I can dig it," she said approvingly as she took in all the nerdy paraphernalia decorating the living room. "But clearly, these guys are in desperate need of some Claudia-style fashion tips," she added _sotto voce_.

Myka looked exasperated. "Do you mind? I'm trying to conduct an investigation," she hissed under her breath to the younger woman.

Claudia threw up her hands in a gesture of surrender, her face a picture of innocence. Pete quickly put down the figurine of Green Lantern that he'd been playing with as Myka turned her glare on him.

"I say we start Nervous Nellie over there," he said, pointing at the curly-haired one.

"Who, me?" Leonard yelped. "I don't know anything."

"Riiiight..." Pete drawled sarcastically.

"Look, we're not here to get you in trouble; we're here to help. You must have noticed something strange going on, right?" Myka asked. Their four suspects exchanged meaningful glances. The tall one opened his mouth, only to have his foot trodden on sharply by the curly-haired one in the hoodie.

"What do you mean by 'strange'?" Hoodie asked warily.

Myka sized him up quickly and realized she had been going about this the wrong way. Pete was usually the charmer, but over the years, she had learned a thing or two from him.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot," she said with a smile. "Whatever you've done, we're not here to arrest you. We're looking for something... maybe some object that has come into your lives recently that does strange things."

The man in the sweater vest leaned over and whispered through cupped hands into the ear of the skinny guy with the bowl cut.

"Because you can't speak to women, Sheldon looks like a giant praying mantis, and apparently, it's just not my lucky day," Bowl Cut muttered back irritably. It sounded like he was rehashing an old argument. Myka suppressed a smile; she could guess what they were whispering about. _Oh, trust me, Hoodie Boy's no prize_ , she thought sarcastically to herself.

"So we, ah... we just need to ask you a few questions individually," Pete said.

Bowl Cut rubbed his palms down the front of his skin-tight purple pants and attempted a leer at Myka. "Oh yeah, baby, you can grill me all night long."

Behind Myka's back, Claudia rolled her eyes and Pete snickered.

"Fine," Myka said tersely. "Keep your hands to yourself, and no one needs to get hurt." As she said this, she laid a hand on the tesla holstered at her side. The little perv may not have know what a tesla was, but he got the general idea. He gulped and followed Myka meekly as she gestured him out onto the landing.

"Since this is your apartment, why don't the two of you wait in your rooms while I talk to..." Pete trailed off as he indicated Sweater Vest Guy.

"Raj," Hoodie supplied helpfully. "But he has selective mutism. He can't say anything while she's in the room," he said, indicating Claudia with a thrust of his chin.

Claudia got up with a sigh. "I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just take some readings around the apartment," she said, waving the strange device she was holding.

It didn't take long for Raj to spill everything as Pete listened with a sympathetic ear. He was just getting to the part where Sheldon found out about his sabotaged experiment when a loud commotion erupted from the back hallway. Pete was on his feet in an instant, tesla in hand as he ran back to check on Claudia. The strangest sight met his eyes. The tall, skinny scientist was spread-eagled across the open doorway to one of the bedrooms, trying to block Claudia from worming past him.

"People can't be in my room!" he shouted.

Pete reached out and grabbed Claudia's arm. "Hey, Claud, easy. There's a couple of computers in the living room," he said in a low voice. "Why don't you go do your thing there, and I'll work my people skills with this guy."

Claudia sagged in relief and pressed her palms together silently to show her thanks as she darted off. Pete turned to Sheldon, whom he had already started to pity as soon as he heard his name. Howard, Leonard, Sheldon... geez, did their parents want them to get beat up at school, he wondered.

"Sorry about that, Mr. Cooper. My, uh, assistant tends to get carried away," Pete said with a broad grin that invited confidences.

Apparently, Sheldon wasn't taken in by his congeniality. "That's Dr. Cooper," he snapped. "And if you can't control your employees—" He broke off, and a bleak sadness crept into his expression.

"Yeah, I heard something like that just happened to you... except instead of employees, it was your friends," Pete sympathized.

Sheldon winced. "A miscalculation, I assure you, and one that will not be repeated."

"It must've made you pretty mad, right? You wanted to get back at them, didn't you?"

Sheldon sighed and looked dejected. "Unfortunately, those three scientists not only comprise my current list of friends, they are the only friends I've ever had. And I am well aware that even they only tolerate me."

Pete's eyebrows rose, and he felt even sorrier for the guy, regardless of how crazy Raj claimed he was about his research and personal habits. No one deserved the kind of abuse Sheldon had suffered. If those other three disliked Sheldon so much, then why did they hang around? Several explanations occurred to Pete, all of them unpleasant. "So what did you do when you found out your friends had tricked you?"

Sheldon shook his head. "Practical jokes are par for the course, but they humiliated me and destroyed my professional reputation. All I knew was that I had to escape. I couldn't stand to look at any of them another minute."

"Raj said you went outside in subzero weather without proper cold-weather gear. You could have frozen to death," Pete said softly.

"I suppose, at that moment, my outlook on life was rather grim," the physicist confessed. "But as I walked across the ice, I... felt something, calling to me. I'm not a man given to flights of fancy, but it was an irresistible attraction," Sheldon said. "I found a small white spherical object, indistinguishable from the snow and ice around it except for that intangible pull it exerted. When I picked it up, I felt calmer, as if somehow things would be made right." He frowned. "Naturally, I attributed these strange fantasies to stress and exposure. However, I found I was unable to put the orb down or relinquish it without the greatest effort. I did allow the airport security guard to examine it—"

"And nothing happened?" Pete interrupted.

"Not as far as I could tell," Sheldon said. "But when we arrived home, that was when the orb showed itself to be possessed of truly bizarre properties."

Pete leaned forward eagerly. "What did it do?"

"Upon our return to 2311 North Robles, we were greeted in the hallway by our neighbor, Penny. She is what some would call an empathetic person. Noticing my unusual mien, she invaded my personal domain, albeit with the intention of comforting me after learning of my betrayal at the hands of my friends. In doing so, she initiated contact with the orb. There was a brilliant flash of light and a shock wave which knocked me off my bed. I hit my head on the dresser, and I lost consciousness briefly. When I awoke, Penny was... as you have seen."

"Wait, I don't understand. What happened to her?" Pete asked.

Sheldon frowned again. "I thought you knew. Aren't you here to help Penny?"

"Of course; we'll do what we can," Pete replied.

At that moment, Claudia poked her head around the corner. "Just heard from Artie. We're looking for a white stone ball about this big..." She made a circle with both hands. "...called the Eye of Freya."

"That orb is extremely dangerous. You need to give it to us. Now, do you have it?" Pete asked Sheldon.

"What are you going to do with it?" the physicist replied suspiciously.

"We're going to put it away somewhere safe, where it can't harm anyone else," Pete said.

Sheldon appeared to be considering the information. "Clearly, we have different priorities. Your goal is to obtain this orb, while I just want my friend—apparently my best friend—back unharmed. If you can help her, I will surrender the orb to your custody."

Pete glanced over at Claudia, who was still hanging around. "Sure, let's go see how your friend Penny is doing," Pete said soothingly. "If there's anything I can do for her, I will."

Sheldon led Pete out into the living room. Leonard, Howard and Raj were sitting silently on the leather couch, looking dejected as Myka kept a close eye on them. When Leonard saw Sheldon, he jumped up. "What are you doing, Sheldon?" he asked in a tense voice.

"This agent says he can help Penny," Sheldon answered. "He may be our best chance of liberating Penny from the state she is in, so I have decided to enlist his aid."

"What, you just believed him?" Leonard yelped. "I don't get it. You just met him. You're never this trusting with strangers."

"Consider this the result of finding out what happens when I trust my closest friends and then they stab me in the back," Sheldon hissed, pushing past him.

Leonard lurched as if he wanted to follow Sheldon or stop him or maybe even attack him, but he subsided quickly when the punk rocker girl pointed a tiny but scary-looking weapon in his face. "Don't even think about it. Chillax," she drawled. Waving the tesla at the sofa, she added, "Take a load off... and stay put."

Myka crossed the room and whispered to Claudia, "I don't think Pete should be left to deal with the artifact by himself. You think you can handle these guys?"

Claudia scoffed. "In my sleep, with one hand tied behind my back."

"Okay," Myka replied. "Just call me on the Farnsworth if anything comes up."

Myka walked out into the hallway, noting immediately that the door to the apartment directly across the tiny landing was open. She cautiously pushed open the door a few inches and halted in surprise. "Well, there's something you don't see every day," she muttered.

"Don't touch her," Pete warned.

Myka stepped into the room, carefully shutting the door behind her. "Trust me, I had no intention of doing so." She made a circuit around the glowing figure, which was hovering about a foot off the floor.

"Did Artie have anything more to say about this artifact?" she asked.

"I haven't heard from him," Pete responded, shaking his head. "It's a shame, isn't it? Pretty young thing like that," he said, nodding his chin towards Penny.

"Don't talk about her like it's already too late," Sheldon snapped. He had been intently watching the agents, and he wasn't sure he liked what was going on. "You promised you were going to help her."

Myka winced. "Just don't get your hopes up too high," she cautioned. "Usually the first person to be affected by an artifact... well, let's just say their survival rates aren't that good."

Pete turned back to Sheldon. "We really need that orb now if we're going to be able to do anything for her. Whaddaya say, pal?"

Sheldon sighed. "Under normal circumstances, I would maintain possession of the orb so I could run extensive tests on it myself at the Caltech physics labs. Unfortunately, right now I am so much a _persona non grata_ that I am not even certain I still have clearance to enter the building. You should know that the orb went through scans in airport security and appeared to be nothing more than an ordinary rock."

"We use different kinds of tools. What we do is a little bit science and a little bit magic," Pete replied.

Sheldon frowned thoughtfully. He hated Pete's flippant use of the term "magic", but it was clear that he was dealing with some sort of energy or technology that he couldn't begin to comprehend. "Very well. I will defer to your expertise since I have no working knowledge of this situation." He turned and left the apartment. In just a few moments, he was back, holding the white sphere.

Myka's eyes widened to see him so casually holding an artifact. Pete held open a bag that looked like it was made of some sort of silvery plastic. "Just put it on the floor," he instructed, and then swooped the bag over the orb like he was trying to catch some small creature. There were a few sparks, and then Pete carefully wrapped the bag around the orb and secured it with tape.

"No effect on the girl," Myka noted.

Sheldon swung quickly back to look at Penny. His face twitched repeatedly as he contemplated his friend's unchanged state. "If you can't help her, I'll find a way to do it myself," he said in a low voice.

Pete laid a sympathetic hand on Sheldon's shoulder. "Don't worry, buddy. We'll figure this out. There's probably another piece to the artifact that we just haven't found yet."

Sheldon had pulled away from Pete's touch almost immediately. "I'm not your buddy. Don't you dare call me that... and I have no desire to sit around aimlessly while you and your incompetent teammates try to cobble together some makeshift solution. Your investigative techniques are flawed, and your methodology is almost non-existent. I won't make the same mistake of relying on others again." He turned and stalked out of the apartment.

Myka frowned and moved to go after him, but Pete stopped her by putting a hand on her arm. Unlike Sheldon, she didn't pull away, but she did look at him in annoyance.

"Hey, give the guy some space. He's been through a lot lately. Out of the handful of friends he had, all but one just double-crossed him, and now his one remaining friend has just been body-snatched by an artifact. We need to focus on neutralizing the orb's effects. I think that's the best way we can help Sheldon."

Myka nodded reluctantly. "I guess we can let those other three guys go. They don't seem to have anything to do with this."

"I don't know," Pete said slowly. "I'm still getting weird vibes off of Hoodie. Something's not quite right there, although maybe it's just his guilt over how he treated his friend."

"All right. We need to regroup and do some more research on this Eye of Freya," Myka said. "I think Claudia brought along some new monitoring equipment she's been dying to try out. We'll let her take a crack at the science end of things while we contact Artie."

The three agents helped Claudia set up her tech devices, and as they were doing so, they couldn't help but hear the raised voices across the hall. Apparently Sheldon had decided to evict Hoodie (aka Leonard), both for his sabotage of Sheldon's experiment and his willingness to sacrifice Penny's well-being in an attempt to cover up said sabotage.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, Sheldon couldn't sleep. Dressed in his robe and pajamas, he scribbled furiously on his whiteboards in the living room, trying to come up with some algorithm that might explain this mysterious artifact. He hadn't missed the fact that Agent Latimer had used the term "magic" to describe what they did, and his keen hearing had overheard some very interesting conversations between the warehouse agents. From an intellectual standpoint, it was utterly fascinating, but Sheldon gave little thought to the more abstract theories that one might draw from this new realm of science. He was desperate to save Penny. For years, he had tried to keep everything in his life predictable, scheduled and organized; and what had it gotten him? Sabotage, betrayal, and a conviction that his so-called friends only stuck around for whatever benefit they could glean from their association with him.

He had always looked down on Penny's sub-par intellect. The fact that she had continued to be his friend without gaining anything from his "beautiful mind genius" had always baffled him. Now he saw her actions in a new light. She must have truly cared about him, much more than any other of his putative friends. He felt an acute and very unusual feeling of guilt for the number of times he had implied she was either stupid or promiscuous. The truth was that she was neither of those things, and his words would have driven away anyone of a less generous or forgiving nature.

Just then, he heard a noise out in the hallway. Startled out of his musings, he realized that the sun had risen and morning had begun hours ago. He strode quickly to the doorway and opened it to see the three agents from yesterday, standing outside of Penny's door.

"What's going on?" he demanded.

Claudia turned her head and placed a finger across her lips, motioning him to silence. "We picked up some unusual readings starting about an hour ago, then everything died down... almost flatlined, you might say," she whispered.

"What does that mean?" Sheldon whispered back as the two senior agents cautiously entered Penny's apartment.

Claudia shrugged. "We'll find out in a minute."

They followed Myka and Pete and found that Penny's living room was empty. The agents had their strange-looking weapons out and at the ready as they searched the rest of the apartment. Soon, Pete poked his head out from the bedroom. "She's in here," he called softly. He went back inside. Seconds later, there was a high-pitched shriek, and a thud followed by a masculine grunt. Myka rushed into the bedroom with Claudia and Sheldon close behind. There was  
another shriek from the very confused and frightened blonde who was wielding an aluminum baseball bat.

"Who are you people?" Penny quavered. "And what are you doing in my bedroom?"

Sheldon elbowed past the two female agents and pulled Penny into a tight embrace. She dropped the bat and clung to him tightly. He could feel that she was trembling. "What's happening? I'm scared," she whispered in his ear.

"There, there, Sheldon's here," he murmured, stroking her hair. He half-turned to face the bewildered agents. "As you can see, your assistance is unnecessary and unwelcome. Penny has recovered on her own. Now get out."

"That's right. We need some privacy," Penny said, giving him a look that he only half understood. Her intent was obvious, though, as she twined her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. He stared at her in confusion, then quickly disentangled  
himself from Penny's clinging embrace.

"I'll... uh... I'll be right back," he told her. He walked out of the bedroom and the agents, clearly sensing that something was wrong, tagged after him.

Once he was out of earshot, he whispered frantically, "That is not Penny."

"I knew something was fishy," Pete grinned triumphantly.

Myka glared at him, then turned her attention back to Sheldon. "Why do you say that's not Penny?" she asked.

"We are friends, and have been so for years. She would never attempt to... to initiate coitus with me. If she were to choose anyone for that function, I think it would be Leonard. He has been attempting to 'get into her pants', I believe is the colloquial term, for three years, albeit without much success."

Claudia stared at him aghast, while Pete tried not to laugh. Myka compressed her lips into a thin line, clearly unimpressed by her colleague's unprofessional behavior.

"I've never seen anything like this before," Myka said with a frown. "Maybe there are some clues to her behavior in the history of the artifact. Artie says that in Norse mythology, Freya was the goddess of love and fertility. That might explain her unusual reaction to you."

"Yeah, and the artifact was also known as the Orb of the Valkyries. Weren't they, like, minor goddesses that represented justice and vengeance?" Claudia chimed in. Pete raised his eyebrows at her, and she shrugged nonchalantly. "Sometimes I read stuff, you know, in old files... when I'm bored."

"So that must be why she made some connection with Sheldon, because he wants vengeance on his friends for betraying him on his field trip!" Myka cried, grinning hugely. She was obviously proud to have put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"I don't—" Sheldon began.

"Hey, wait! If Penny liked this guy Leonard before, maybe he can help her fight off whatever influence the artifact still has on her," Claudia said excitedly. "You know, it could be like true love's kiss or whatever. You did say Freya was the goddess of love."

Myka looked over at Pete, who shrugged, saying, "Your guess is as good as mine. I'm flying blind here. If this guy Leonard is willing to help us out, maybe that's our best bet." He looked over at Sheldon.

"Leonard has certainly made no secret of his attraction to Penny. He's been mooning over her like a lovesick calf for years," Sheldon said. What he failed to mention was how she had responded when she heard about Leonard's trick with the can opener.

* * *

After he got the call from the warehouse agents, Leonard arrived at his former abode in less than twenty minutes. Raj and Howard were trailing behind him like his own personal entourage. He preened at the attention he received from the agents, tilting his head up and to the side like he was presenting his best angle for an imaginary photographer. He couldn't believe it. He was  
going to rescue Penny like a hero from a fairy tale. All he had to do was... well, he wasn't quite clear on that part, but he had been in love with Penny for so long. She had almost kissed him when he'd gotten back, before Sheldon had ruined everything. He was certain she returned his feelings. He stuck his thumbs in his belt loops and swaggered over to Penny's apartment.

For several long minutes, there was no sound, no hint of what was going on across the hall.

"So do you think they're getting nasty? Doing the horizontal mambo? Playing hide the snake?" Howard asked with a leer.

"Eeew... where'd you find this guy?" Claudia said, clearly repulsed.

At that moment, they heard a horrible, drawn-out scream. Raj whimpered in fear, while Howard paled. Pete cursed, and Myka unholstered her tesla.

"Wait." It was Sheldon. All eyes turned toward him in a mixture of astonishment, disbelief and curiosity. "Let me attempt to reason with her before you do anything rash. I am well aware that I do not harbor any romantic feelings toward Penny, but we have a very strong bond of friendship, which is a kind of love. Also, she seemed favorably disposed toward me earlier, and I do feel a sense of responsibility toward her. None of this would have ever happened if I hadn't brought that orb back home with me."

"Absolutely not," Myka said quickly. "We don't know what we're dealing with here. We don't know if Leonard is even alive or not. It's too dangerous."

"I don't know," Pete said slowly. "He's kind of got a point. I mean, we all saw how she was all over him earlier."

"So what, he's just the next willing victim?" Claudia asked incredulously.

"Of course not. But until Artie comes up with another plan, we're stuck, unless our Plan B involves drowning Penny in neutralizer. And I don't like to leave her possessed by the  
artifact," Myka said. "The longer she remains under its influence, the less likely it is that we'll be able to break its spell over her."

"I hope to keep my distance and converse with her, rather than woo her as Leonard doubtless tried to do," Sheldon said.

Myka glanced over at her teammates before she sighed in defeat and re-holstered her tesla. "Okay, fine. We'll try it your way. Just promise me you'll get out of there at the first sign of danger."

"Indubitably," Sheldon replied. With an enigmatic glance at Howard and Raj, he left, crossing the hall and entering Penny's apartment.

Sheldon's heart was pounding as he opened Penny's door. He forced himself to forego his usual knocking pattern, since he wasn't certain who or what he would be facing. He held out one hope, and that was the memory of those few moments earlier when Penny had seemed like her  
normal self. Of course, she had attempted to seduce him immediately afterward, but he hoped he could somehow get through to his friend.

As he swung open her bedroom door, he found Penny in a slinky black negligee, preening before a full-length mirror. There was a sooty, person-shaped discoloration on the carpet at her feet.

She turned toward him. "What do you think?" she asked in a husky voice, running a hand over her curves.

He swallowed hard. "I would like to speak to Penny… the real Penny."

"What, are you saying I'm not her? That _your_ Penny would never try to seduce you? Hmm… in that case, I guess she wasn't quite the slut you always claimed she was," she drawled lazily, turning back to her reflection.

"I... was mistaken about that. I believe I misinterpreted several of her personality traits in an unflattering light," Sheldon said.

She looked back at him, holding his gaze with an amused smirk. Then she slid the spaghetti straps of the gown off of her shoulders and let the silky garment slither down her body onto the floor. With uninhibited grace, she selected another garment from the pile on the bed, ignoring Sheldon's gasp of shock. This gown was ice blue, made of some kind of material that shimmered in the light, and was so thin as to be almost sheer.

Once Penny had arranged the gown to her satisfaction, she turned back to Sheldon. "I think you should say you're sorry," she prompted teasingly.

"I'm sorry," Sheldon parroted, but then he added, "I would take back every uncomplimentary word I ever said about Penny if it would bring her back."

"Too bad; she's gone," was the callous reply.

His insides felt like they had turned to ice, and he desperately tried to ignore what she had just said. There was no evidence that this entity, who was wearing Penny's body the same way she donned the negligee, was telling him the truth. He just had to keep her talking and perhaps she would reveal some weakness. Penny was a fighter. She had always been so strong and passionate about life. He had to believe that she was still in there somewhere.

He glanced down at the dark spot on the carpet. "You killed Leonard, didn't you?" he asked.

She shrugged. "He wasn't worthy to kiss my feet. He wasn't worthy to kiss _hers_. That sycophantic ninny actually thought he could win me over with his paltry blandishments and inept romancing."

Sheldon noticed she had adapted his multisyllabic vocabulary and wondered what it meant. Under different circumstances, he might have appreciated the change in her demeanor. There was a time when he had tried to modify Penny's behavior. He used chocolates to try to train her out of what he considered to be some of her more annoying habits. Now he longed for the woman who was obsessed with designer shoes and sang off-key and pumiced her feet in his living room. He silently vowed he would do whatever he had to do to get her back.

"So if you don't want to be romanced, what is it that you do want?" he probed.

"Oh no, I want what every woman wants," she replied, picking up a hairbrush and running it slowly through her hair. She closed her eyes and gave a little sigh of pleasure. "To have every man fall at my feet, and every woman fear and envy me." Her eyes popped open again. " _You_ don't adore me. You stand here bandying words with me. Why is that?"

He eyed the stain on the carpet again. "Despite your claim to wish to have all men worship you, you reacted rather unfavorably to Leonard."

She laughed, a little trilling sound of delight. "Leonard's fault was not that he didn't fall at my feet; it was that he dared to reach for more."

Sheldon considered carefully. "Penny wants to be an actress. In our world, the most successful actresses are worshipped and envied. Perhaps there is a way for you to work with her so that both of you could get what you want."

Her gaze sharpened as she focused on his face. "What makes you think I would cooperate with any scheme of yours to even the slightest degree?"

He fought to keep the excitement from showing on his face. She was still acting superior, but the fact that she was willing to listen to him was promising. It was time to put his plan into action.

"There are several agents next door, persons who deal with mystical events such as this one. Actually, their word is 'neutralize'. I don't imagine that's what you want, but I think if you had any real power over people, you would have used it by now. You would have turned Leonard into your devoted minion instead of killing him. It has been thousands of years since humankind worshipped beings such as Freya and Odin. You need people to idolize you in some fashion to solidify your power. So for now, you are powerless. If you kill me, eventually those agents next door will find a way to stop you. You will end up either dead or imprisoned again, just as you were for all those centuries inside the orb." That last comment was just an educated guess on Sheldon's part, but he seemed to have hit the mark as her eyes flashed angrily.

"You are indeed as clever as she thinks. I may not kill you after all."

"Is Penny still a part of you then?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes, but not in the way you imagine. I cannot return her to you as she was. Her mind has... expanded to accommodate me, and without my presence, the emptiness of that void would crush whatever is left of her. But I can allow her personality to... rise to the surface, so that to most people, she would still seem to be the Penny they know."

Sheldon still wasn't sure if he could trust her, but she seemed like she was willing to negotiate with him. He'd never been much of a risk-taker, so he decided that it was better to try to work with her than attempt to exorcise her from Penny's body. If this being, Freya or whoever she really was, could give Penny back to him, then he was ready to defect to her side.

"I have a plan," he said. "I believe that with your assistance, I can convince the agents that your hold over Penny has been broken. They have already neutralized the orb. If Penny appears to be restored to her original state, they would have no reason to remain. With your powers, whatever they are, and Penny's knowledge of the acting profession, you should find it easy to attain your goal."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "There must be something you want in return."

"What I want is scientific knowledge and the acclamation of my peers, which I believe is not something you can provide. And I want Penny back, or as close to Penny as you... she can be."

"You ask for much, mortal," she commented with a scowl. Then her expression cleared and she looked at him with a speculative air. "But I have occasionally bargained with your kind for a price. I require something of yourself as proof of your commitment... a sacrifice."

"What sacrifice?" he asked apprehensively.

She walked toward him, hips swaying, and brushed her fingertips along the back of his hand. A feeling of intense heat and cold swept through him, leaving him aching with a nameless need.

"I can sense that you are untouched," she said, gazing up into his face. "What more fitting gift could you offer me than your innocence?"

Her eyes were fathomless pools of darkness, and Sheldon reeled, feeling like he could lose himself in their depths. He felt torn between his mysophobic tendencies and his need to have Penny restored to him. "I have never wanted to engage in coitus with anyone," he said hesitantly. It was more of a statement than an objection.

She reached out again and took his hand in hers. Sweet fire burned through every nerve in his body. Then she let go, and the loss of that sensation was like a physical pain. He staggered, putting out a hand to keep from falling.

"I can ease your fears," she said softly. "I can make you feel such desire as you have never known. But I will not compel you. A sacrifice given unwillingly is meaningless."

There was no other choice he could make, no other one he wanted to make. "Yes," he rasped.

The moment he spoke, a change came over Penny. She blinked, and he saw confusion and understanding warring in her expression.

"Sheldon?" she asked. There was a startled awakening in her eyes, and then she looked at him with an expression so full of love and longing that even he could not mistake it for anything else. He suddenly understood what Freya (or whoever she was) had meant. The Penny he knew had never wanted him or thought of him as anything other than a close friend. This woman, who smiled at him like Penny used to and spoke his name just like she did, desired him. It was more than he could have imagined. Later, he could never sort out in his mind who was the first to reach for whom. They came together in a cataclysm of fire that seared Sheldon's soul, marking him, changing him. In his surrender, he discovered the truth that had hidden in the deepest recesses of his soul: he loved her.


	4. Chapter 4

Back in apartment 4A, those left behind to await the outcome of Sheldon's "reasonable conversation" were getting nervous.

"He's been over there a long time," Claudia said worriedly. "Do you think he's dead?"

"Well, the fact that there's no screaming is a good sign," Pete offered.

"Maybe we should go check on him. I think we should go check," Myka said as she paced around the room. She caught herself biting her nails and quickly balled her hands into fists.

"Hey, I think no news is good news, but I'll go if you want me to," said Pete.

"No, we're partners; we should go together. Just do me a favor and take off the huge shoes of yours. You sound like an elephant when you're trying to sneak up on people," Myka griped.

Pete rolled his eyes, pulled off the offending loafers, and said, "There, you happy now?"

"Quite," Myka grinned victoriously. "I'll lead."

"You always want to lead," Pete grumbled, but he let her go first. They crept across the hallway and eased open Penny's door.

"I think I heard a noise," Myka whispered almost soundlessly, motioning toward the bedroom. She crept forward, with Pete following close behind. Then she stopped so suddenly that Pete almost ran into her. She whirled around quickly, and Pete grabbed her arms to keep her from knocking them both over.

"What? What did you see?" he asked, craning his neck to see around her. The bedroom was separated from the living room by a pair of glass-paned French doors, giving Pete a clear view of what was going on inside. He stared for a few moments longer than was truly necessary to determine what was going on. Then he cleared his throat and looked back at Myka.

"I guess he doesn't need our help after all. Looks like he's doing just fine on his own," he said in a low tone, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Myka smacked him on the arm. "Will you let go of me? We need to get out of here."

Pete glanced down in surprise and saw that he was still holding Myka. He dropped his hands quickly. "Sorry," he muttered. They crept back across the hall, although it appeared that Sheldon and Penny were so absorbed in each other they would hardly notice if the building tumbled down around them. Back in Sheldon's apartment, Claudia, Howard and Raj were anxiously awaiting them.

"So what's going on over there?" Claudia burst out impatiently.

Pete grinned. "Let's just say you're still too young to go see for yourself."

She grimaced. "What does that mean? Is she eating his liver or..." She broke off upon seeing Myka run a hand through her hair and look away, embarrassed, while Pete grinned gleefully.

"Oh. _O-o-oh_. So my guess about true love was right after all."

"True love? Wait, there must be some mistake," Howard protested. "You don't know Sheldon like we do. I mean, if Summer Glau paraded around naked in front of him, all he would do would be to call her a hussy and tell her to put on some clothes."

Raj nodded emphatically and cupped his hands to whisper in Howard's ear.

"That's right; Sheldon never showed the slightest interest in Penny. It was Leonard who's been eating his heart out over her for almost three years... well, except for when he was with Leslie Winkle."

More whispering from Raj. "Yeah, but those were just one-night stands. They didn't mean anything," Howard replied. "But Sheldon? He insults Penny, and..."

Raj leaned over again.

"Sure, he insults all of us, but that's hardly the point."

Raj shook his head, frowning. "Laundry!" he blurted, gasping with the effort it took him to manage that single word in front of two strange women.

"Laundry night? Just because Penny stays in on a Saturday night to do laundry with Sheldon... and sits in his spot, and touches his food, and sings to him when he's sick, and makes spaghetti with cut-up hot dogs..."

He trailed off, a dawning look of comprehension on his face. Raj whispered in his ear once more, and he nodded and said, "Yeah, that too. How come we never saw it before?"

The two friends stared at each other, maintaining eye contact long enough to make the agents start to feel uncomfortable. Then Howard looked away and scoffed. "Oh, come on! This is bat-crap crazy Sheldon we're talking about!"

Just then, there was a soft rap on the door, and it swung open to reveal Penny and Sheldon. No one missed their slightly disheveled appearance or the fact that they were holding hands.

"Hi! I guess we were never really introduced. I'm Penny. I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me," she said, making eye contact and smiling at each of the agents in turn.

"You're welcome, but your... uh... friend Sheldon was the one who saved you. We just neutralized the artifact that was affecting you," Pete said with an easy grin.

"I know," Penny replied. "He's my hero." She exchanged a look with Sheldon that was so loving and intimate that more than one occupant of the room glanced away.

"I don't really remember anything before Sheldon rescued me, but... where's Leonard?" Penny asked, scanning the faces in the room. There was an awkward pause in which everyone seemed to have a hard time meeting her gaze.

"He was killed attempting to aid you," Sheldon finally said.

Penny let out a little cry and clapped her hand over her mouth. "This is all my fault, isn't it? What are we going to do? Am I going to jail? What am I going to tell the university... or his parents?"

She buried her face in Sheldon's shoulder and began to sob. He wrapped his arms around her and looked completely nonplussed.

Myka stepped over to the weeping young woman. "None of this is your fault. How can it be when you don't even remember what happened? You ran afoul of an artifact. You're lucky to be alive."

Penny raised her tear-streaked face and nodded slowly, still tightly clutching Sheldon's shirt.

"We have clean-up crews," Claudia spoke up suddenly. Myka and Pete looked at her in surprise.

"What? You think I don't know about them?" she muttered defensively. "Please. Your passwords are laughably easy to hack... not that I do that sort of thing anymore. I was just testing the Warehouse security network, and I found some stuff that looked interesting."

"She's right about the clean-up crews," Pete said. "The fewer people who know about artifacts, the better. So they'll come in, make up some cover story for what happened to your friend, and make sure no strange stories leak out. That includes the two of you," he added, turning to direct a stern glare at Howard and Raj. "If any of you start talking about what you've experienced over the past few days, people will start to think you're crazy. Trust me; I know. I can't even tell my own family exactly what it is that I do."

"Have you concluded your investigation, then? Is Penny safe?" Sheldon asked.

Claudia stepped forward with a large boxy device in her hands. Aiming it at Penny, she watched the displays for several seconds. "There's just the tiniest bit of residual energy left, but that should dissipate soon. Doctor Claudia is ready to give you a clean bill of health."

Pete looked hard at Penny and Sheldon. "Are you sure?"

Claudia sighed. "I built this baby myself. I can either spend the next three hours trying to explain to you how it works, which we both know will be a complete bust, or you can just trust me."

Pete smiled at her. "I do trust you, Claud. You're a full-fledged agent now, and I know you've got my back. I just have this hunch…" He trailed off as he met Penny's eyes, and then his face cleared. "I have this feeling that you two are gonna have a bunch of kids together."

"Children?" Sheldon asked in a strangled voice.

Pete winked at him. "Good luck. I've learned not to ignore my hunches."

The agents packed up their equipment and left soon after that. Howard and Raj did as well, feeling distinctly like a pair of third wheels.

When they were alone, Sheldon turned to Penny. "So how does this work?" he asked.

"Like any other relationship, I guess… one day at a time," she answered, shrugging.

Frustrated, he spoke aloud the only name he knew to call her other self. "Freya."

She whirled around, eyes blazing. "Do not presume to use that name, mortal."

Sheldon backed up a step, hating that he'd had to summon her alter ego. From his conversation with her earlier and her actions now, he surmised that she still felt vulnerable with the warehouse agents still nearby. That meant he would have to tread carefully.

"I would never betray you because I believe that would harm Penny. I just needed a way to communicate with you when necessary. I assure you, I do not intend to make a habit of it."

Her eyebrows rose as she studied him. "Your lover's full name is Penelope, although she hated being called that. If you wish to speak to me, you may use that name."

He nodded his agreement. "Very well. I am still unclear on the parameters of this arrangement. What I really need to know is when Penny will be herself, and when will she be… you."

Her lips curled in amusement. "Perhaps this is a question you should have asked before you sealed our bargain."

"I am aware of that," he said softly. "I cannot imagine how I committed such an oversight. I suppose my concern for Penny superseded my rational thought processes. That has never happened before," he mused.

"You were never in love before," she countered.

He opened his mouth to argue with her and then closed it again, looking confused.

"You will be good for each other," she said kindly. "Just remember that the sacrifice you made for her today will not be the last time you will need to set aside your own desires for her benefit. She will do the same for you. That is how love works."

She blinked, and suddenly, it was Penny, _his_ Penny, looking at him.


	5. Chapter 5

She blinked, and her expression changed from sly amusement to one of confusion. He had his Penny back. She looked tough yet vulnerable as she realized she was once again in control of her own body. With a glad cry, she threw herself into Sheldon's arms, toppling him over onto the leather couch. She fitted her body against his with a satisfied purring sound. He pulled himself into a sitting position, but Penny remained clinging to him.

"I know what you did for me," she said. "I never thought you cared that much about me, but I'm so happy you do."

"I suppose I was not aware of it either," he replied slowly. "It took the greatest set-back of my life to show me what I truly valued. But this isn't what _you_ wanted, is it?" he asked. "I was so focused on not losing you that I'm afraid I contrived a somewhat poor bargain. I made an emotional decision, which is completely unlike me."

Penny couldn't help but smile when he said that. Sheldon often got emotional, but only with negative feelings like fear and anger.

"You did what you had to do to save me," she replied gently. "I remember what my life was like before, but it's fading away like a dream. I was wasting my life away. I may only get to live a part of it now, but I'm going to make every minute of it count."

She reached for him with a suggestive smile. He reluctantly disentangled her arms from around her neck. "You weren't in love with me before," he stated gravely. "How can you still be the Penny I knew if your feelings toward me have changed?"

She leaned back and looked him in the eye, very seriously. "Your feelings for _me_ have changed, haven't they?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes. I have considered you a friend for a long time, but the bond between us deepened gradually. When I was forced to drastic action in order to rescue you, I realized that I could only allow you to get so close if I… loved you."

"And I love you," she answered, sighing happily. "It doesn't matter how it happened. My life was going nowhere fast until a couple of days ago. Now, I'm absolutely crazy about you, and I can promise you those feelings will never change as long as _she's_ a part of me. And I'm going to be a famous movie star because that's what _she_ wants. And if those two things just happen to make me insanely happy too, who am I to argue?"

She leaned in to kiss him, and this time, he let her. No, he _wanted_ her to. He could feel her mysterious allure drawing him in, and he was helpless against it. He began to understand that he would also need to give up part of his life, the part where he could do exactly what he wanted in a completely self-indulgent manner. It seemed a small price to pay.

He drew back before he completely lost all sense of where he was and what he was doing. "We can't simply start dating. It would raise too many red flags, especially with Raj and Howard. If they begin to suspect anything unusual and contact the warehouse agents, _she_ might feel threatened. I won't do anything that might endanger you."

His concern earned him a smile. "I'm an actress," Penny said. "If anyone's behavior is going to start raising red flags, it's yours. But I think I know a way to make this look like it happened naturally. Now that Leonard is gone, they'll expect his death to hit both of us pretty hard. After some time has passed, you can tell Raj and Howard that we turned to each for comfort while we were grieving. They'll think us dating is some weird rebound thing, but they won't think it has anything to do with that stupid orb or _her_." She sighed. "I guess until we're ready to tell them, I'll have to make myself scarce."

Sheldon frowned at her in confusion. "Why is that?"

She slid onto his lap. "Because you get this adorable goofy grin on your face every time you look at me. It's a dead giveaway."

His eyebrows rose in surprise, and he patted his face with his fingertips as if to ascertain if she was telling the truth. She was. "I see. Does this mean that we need to stop spending time together until we make our relationship public?"

"Hell no, that means I'll just be sneaking into your bed late at night," Penny grinned.

"Oh, thank heaven," he groaned, and gave up all pretense of aloofness as he pressed her back against the sofa cushions on his spot.

* * *

Penny's elaborate scheme was hardly necessary. Their friends had already figured out for themselves that Sheldon and Penny together made a weird kind of sense. If they all missed Leonard (and Sheldon did, even after Leonard's underhanded sabotage of the monopole experiment), it only drew them closer together. Sheldon and Raj started collaborating together on a new research project about dark matter, and Howard leveraged his NASA experience to gain several lucrative consulting deals in the privatized space industry.

Thanks to the supernatural influence of Penny's alter ego, she got the very next part she tried out for. In just a few years, she was one of the fastest rising young starlets in Hollywood. After she had a conversation with Sheldon's department head, Gablehauser agreed to give Sheldon whatever funds or equipment he needed for his research. Howard and Raj eagerly pitched in to help him in their spare time. When Penny discovered that they were monopolizing her boyfriend on the weekends, she decided to find girlfriends for both of them. She introduced Howard to Bernadette, a petite microbiologist who was working her way through a doctoral degree, waitressing at the Cheesecake Factory. Penny had been thinking they might hit it off, even before the guys returned from the Arctic. She had a harder time finding someone who would be perfect for Raj until she met a psychology grad student at Caltech. Meera was writing her thesis on selective mutism and within just a few months, Raj started talking to women without the aid of alcohol. She was also half-Indian on her father's side. After years of seeing their son date American girls, his parents enthusiastically approved the match.

Sheldon and Penny married in a very private ceremony just weeks before the release of the first movie in which she had top billing. Sheldon continued to work toward his lifelong dream of winning the Nobel Prize, but he had to balance his scholarly pursuits with an increasingly full family life. Pete's prediction came true. Sheldon and Penny eventually had seven children, a fact that never failed to astonish him. He won his Nobel just weeks after their third child and first daughter was born. He immediately set his sights on a second Nobel.

* * *

Sheldon and Penny had been married for over twenty years when the last person in the world they expected, showed up on their doorstep.

Penny looked through the peephole with a curious frown on her face. By this point, they had a high-tech surveillance system and a security team guarding their house. People didn't just show up and knock on their door, but this man did and he seemed familiar. She opened the door and stared at the older man with the broad, knowing grin.

"Do I know you?" she asked. She hadn't heard Sheldon come up behind her, but she could sense his presence, a warm solid wall at her back.

"Agent Pete Lattimer," Sheldon said, and his voice was glacial. "What are you doing here?"

"It's just Mr. Lattimer now; I'm retired," Pete said with a rueful grin. "But I can still beat a crack security team and top-of-the-line surveillance with one hand tied behind my back," he added proudly.

Penny gasped. "You were one of the agents. You were there when I…" She broke off, not knowing how she could talk about her other personality.

"Yeah, you hit me with a baseball bat. Kinda hard to forget you," Pete replied. He looked down for a moment, and then faced them. "There was always something that didn't sit right with me about your case. I've followed your careers throughout the years, but apart from phenomenal success, you've kept your noses clean. I just had to know how you snuck an artifact past us. I mean, I know I'm good, but somehow you amateurs got the better of us. So how did you do it?"

Sheldon studied his face warily. "What would you do with such information, assuming we have it and are willing to provide it to you?"

Pete shrugged. "This is just for my own personal satisfaction. My partner Myka, well, she's been gone a long time. After we lost her, I teamed up with Claudia for a while, but it just wasn't the same. When she became the new caretaker of the warehouse, I figured I was too old for field work. For a while, I helped train new recruits. But I left before they could start to feel sorry for me, some old geezer who didn't know when it was time to quit. I thought I was done, that I could walk away cleanly. But after all those years, your case was still the one that kept nagging at the back of my mind. So I figured I'd drop in on you… I mean, what do I have to lose?"

Sheldon and Penny exchanged glances, and he could see the subtle shift in her expression as her alter ego emerged. She nodded slightly, and then Penny—his Penny, he could always tell—stepped aside and held open the door. "Come in, Mr. Lattimer," she said with a gracious smile.

Once they were comfortably ensconced in the living room, Sheldon began to speak. It was extremely odd to finally be confessing his secret after all these years, but in a way, it was also a relief to have someone who wouldn't think he was crazy if he told it. "There was no other artifact," he began. "The orb was merely a vessel for a supernatural entity which possessed Penny. After my friend Leonard was killed trying to seduce the entity, I realized that _she_ was too powerful. You and your team seemed more interested in damage control and containment than in saving Penny's life. As you may recall, Leonard and my other two friends, Raj and Howard, had recently betrayed me, leading me to the conclusion that Penny was my only real friend. I was determined to do whatever I had to do to rescue her, so I switched sides, in a matter of speaking. I bargained with the entity for Penny to have some freedom to live her life. In exchange, I promised to protect _her_ by allowing you and your team to believe _she_ had been driven out by your half-baked theory about true love."

Pete shrugged. "It wasn't the first time true love won out over some artifact's juju. And I see you did get the girl," he added, casting a quizzical look in Penny's direction.

"Actually, I was the one who got the guy," Penny said. She smiled and laid a hand on Sheldon's knee. " _She's_ had many titles over thousands of years, but the last time people knew about her, they called her Freya and worshipped her as the goddess of love and fertility. Sheldon wasn't interested in love or marriage or having a family. For him, it really was a hard choice to give up the single life."

"It wasn't that difficult," Sheldon murmured, lacing his fingers through hers. "Once our bargain was sealed, it gave Freya more power. I started feeling like I loved Penny right around that time. We've both questioned whether our feelings are genuine, but since we have been so happy together, it's difficult to examine that theory very closely."

"Huh. So all she really wanted was to make you fall in love?" Pete asked with a grimace of confusion.

Penny's face grew serious. "No. What she wanted was to be loved and adored. She used her powers to make me into a world-famous actress. That's the modern day equivalent to being a goddess, I guess. And…" She hesitated, glancing at her husband. "There's not a single guy that she wants that's ever been able to say no to her. She only leaves them alone if they're truly in love, and I know from experience, that's a pretty rare thing in Hollywood."

"I don't understand." Pete looked back and forth between the two of them. "I mean, I've heard the tabloid gossip… the open marriage, the affairs. But if you love this guy as much as you say—"

"It's not me, it's her," Penny said quickly. "That was part of the bargain Sheldon made with her. When I'm with him, I'm completely myself. But the rest of the time, she takes over and does what she wants… what she needs to, I think. Sheldon knows how much I love him, and that _I_ would never cheat on him. It doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks."

Pete sat back and whistled softly. "That couldn't have been easy for either one of you," he said softly, privately thinking that such an arrangement would have driven him crazy with jealousy. Many people believed that Cooper, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist, simply didn't care about his wife' infidelity. Friends and colleagues had described him as cold, unfeeling, even robotic. Pete knew that he had been allowed to see into a part of their lives that few people even knew existed. Sheldon wasn't cold or unfeeling. He had just poured all of his emotional energy into protecting the woman he loved and their family.

"Penny is correct," Sheldon replied, interrupting Pete's train of thought. "Before the incident, I had spent most of my life being mocked and misunderstood. In that respect, nothing changed, and yet my life was infinitely improved by her presence."

"And you really did end up having lots of kids," Pete commented, his eyes drawn to a large family portrait hanging over the mantel. The photo had been taken at the beach, and in it, Sheldon and Penny shared a private look over the heads of their children, in various stages of life from toddler to teenager, who were ranged about them.

"Four girls and three boys," Penny said with a laugh. "I _know_ she influenced me in that, because I never wanted to have kids before. And every time someone mentions to Sheldon that he has seven children, he still manages to look shocked."

"It's all her fault," Sheldon muttered in a surly tone, but he was smiling as he said it.

"You know you could never say no to me," she answered lightly, and the look he gave her in return made Pete feel like an interloper.

Pete cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Well, um, I'm glad you guys managed to make it work out for you. Thanks for talking to me. Your secret's safe with me." He rose to take his leave, and then paused and looked at Penny, frowning slightly. "What happens to her—Freya, I mean—after you, um, you know…"

"When I'm dead?" Penny asked with a wry smile.

Pete nodded sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand.

"Mr. Lattimer, there are hundreds of pretty young women who would do a lot more than give up part of their lives if it meant becoming a star. She'll choose someone, I'll take her on as a protégé, and then when the time comes, she'll move on."

"And what'll happen to you?" Pete asked.

Penny looked over at Sheldon and took his hand again. "I love my husband, and I don't want to live without him. Because of her, I know I'll be there for him right up to the end, and then I'll join him, and we'll be together forever."

"You know there is no scientific evidence for a continued existence after death," Sheldon objected.

"Yeah, I know," Penny said. "It doesn't matter. Some things you just have to take by faith."

Pete cleared his throat, drawing both their gazes back to him. "I've seen a lot of strange things in my time… things that seem to have no rational explanation. I think your wife might be closer to the truth than you give her credit for. I should be going. Thanks for your time." He shook both their hands, and they escorted him out. As Pete walked out the front gate (much to the bewilderment of the security guards, who hadn't seen him enter), he shook his head in disbelief. To be in love your whole life, to have a family and success and wealth… even knowing all that the Coopers had endured, he had to admit, he was a little jealous.

The End


End file.
